The votes are in and the people have spoken and in true Canadian fashion, we chose not to rock the boat too much.
Despite the Liberal’s every effort to give the Conservatives a majority government. They only managed to eke out a slim minority.
“So what does this mean?” you may ask.
It means that even though technically the Conservatives are in power, they can’t so much as wipe their own asses without the consent of some combination of Conservatives, Liberals, Blocs and New Democrats totalling a majority.
So here is how things measure up:
Flies on a Horse’s Ass
Prime Minister Stephen Harper (I don’t think I’ll ever get used to typing that) should wipe that ever-so-rare smile off his face since he really didn’t win this election so much as the Liberals handed it to him on a silver platter.
The Conservative’s first notable move as our tireless, fearless, emotionless and charismaless leaders came in an announcement by MP Jason Kennedy:
“We’re going to fight U.S. protectionism, we’re going to fight to protect our Arctic sovereignty, but we’re going to do it in a way that’s diplomatic and gets results,” said Kennedy.
Quote from “Tories can disagree with U.S., still be friendly: Kennedy” from http://cnews.canoe.ca, January 27, 2006.
And what was his idea of diplomacy?
His comments came a day after prime minister-designate Stephen Harper told U.S. Ambassador David Wilkins to stay out of Canadian policy.
Quote from “Tories can disagree with U.S., still be friendly: Kennedy” from http://cnews.canoe.ca, January 27, 2006.
Now, while I agree with what he said, I thought the conservatives were going to work on improving Canada-US relations, not throw more gasoline on the fire.
Maybe, I’m just not getting it…maybe this is the way Americans like to be spoken to and treated…you know like sadomasochists…maybe they enjoy being smacked around and called Bitch.
Fortunately for us, Canadians scolding the Americans is tantamount to flies buzzing around a horse’s ass. It’s a minor annoyance, but nothing worth bucking at, a swat of the tail will provide temporary relief.
Martin Quits
Right after last Monday’s election, Liberal Leader Loser Paul Martin announced that he will NOT lead his party into the next election (slated for sometime later this year1). In his speech to a crowd of supporters in his riding, Martin stated:
“I will always be at the service of the party…The Canada we want is one very much worth fighting for.”
Quote from “Martin to quit as Liberal leader, describes ‘privilege to serve’” from http://www.cbc.ca, January 24, 2006.
Apparently, it is also worth smearing the opposition for AND embezzling hundreds of millions from. I mean c’mon, who didn’t see this coming?
In his defence, this wasn’t all his doing, good ‘ole Johnny Crouton (Chrétien) can share much of the blame for the Liberal’s downfall. However, Martin was in power to see the first non-Liberal party win an election in 13 years. For this, he must leave.
Furthermore, in order for the Liberals to move forward and try to make disillusioned Canadians forget their cheating ways. They’re going to have to clean house (so to speak) and distance themselves from any and all connection to that old party of self-serving fat-cats and, perhaps revert to a hungrier, less entitled group of politicians (if there is even such a thing)
A Domestic Affair in the House
Jack Layton’s strategy of aiming low has once again spelled success for the NDP party. In last week’s election, the NDP won 29 seats, that’s 10 more than they did last time.
The majority of their seats came at the expense of the Liberals who’s supporters became desperate for an alternative to their federal party of partisan pillagers.
This further solidifies my view of the NDP as a bunch of vultures, picking at the dead rotting corpse of the Liberal carcass…er…I meant caucus.
Congratulations Jack, you came in 4th out of 4 parties, one of which is a separatist party bent on dividing our country and which draws all of its seats from one province. You should be proud.
Also, now you have to look forward to going to work everyday with your lovely wife, Olivia Chow, who won her Trinity-Spadina riding. This can’t be a good idea…
Imagine such a scenario whereby, Olivia is mad at Jack for not taking the trash out the night before and takes it out on Jack in the House of Commons by voting against one of his motions. I wouldn’t be surprised if, by the end of the spring sessions, Jack crossed the floor to join the Bloc.
The Bloc Gets Shocked, then Rocked
Old ferret-face can’t bee too pleased with last week’s results. Not only did he lose 3 seats in his beloved province of Québéc, but one of those seats was lost to an independent candidate, the first to win since 1984 (Tony Roman-York North, Ontario).
Adding insult to injury, the guy who won is a radio Shock-Jock who is a federalist AND a self-described libertarian. The guy didn’t just win, he won by a large margin, collecting almost double the votes of the second-place Bloc party.
Maybe that’s what we need to once and for all topple the separatist movement…more radio shock-jocks running for office. Do you think we can entice Howard Stern to move to Québéc? He’d cost us a pretty penny, but he’d be a bargain by the Liberal’s standards.
- No it isn’t ↩︎
Minority Report Series:
What are you thinking?