Commuter Etiquette: Cell Phones

So now, I am obliged to present to you the Cell Phone Rule…

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Now I’m no idiot. I know that cell phones are a necessary evil in everyday life these days. Everyone has one, most families have one for each member.

Cell phones seem to have become a right of passage into teenagehood, even more so than a driver’s license—their first badge of independence, a sign of breaking free from the extended, curling cord of the familial home unit.

In an attempt to make these tools of telecommunication indispensable and cherished to their owners, cell phone companies have gone to great lengths to make sure that these hip ornaments have become flexible, multi-purpose extensions of people’s bodies, as valuable as their own hands.

They are no longer just for speaking to someone in another location, cell phones are now also text messengers; address and phone books; video game consoles; digital cameras; digital video cameras; portable web browsers; email in/outboxes; video viewing devices; file and music storage and playing devices.

You can customize your cell to play different rings depending on who is calling; you can have your favourite song play instead of a ring; you can have the caller’s picture show up when they call; you can set it up to dial based on voice commands; you can use a hands-free earpiece; you can use it as an internet connection for your laptop; you can even purchase different face-plates to personalize the appearance of your phone or to—perhaps—coordinate with your outfit; essentially the cell phone has evolved into an invaluable and—at times—over-equipped tool that would make Alexander Graham Bell’s hip vibrate in his grave.

If you ever wanted to witness the range of uses and functions that cell phones boast today, you wouldn’t have to look any further than your typical commuter train. People calling loved ones to let them know they’re going to be late for dinner; checking email and teleconferencing on their way to the office; killing time with a game, or video; checking the score of the Olympic hockey game between Russia and Sweden; or just listening to some music.

You may think that this rule is targeted at loud cell phone talkers on the train but it isn’t. While these people are annoying and you can tell some of them are being overtly loud so that we know their business and how important they think they are, sometimes people are just loud because they have to be. I for one, try to keep my cell conversations to myself, so as to not bother the people around me but often the background noise or interference from the train causes the person on the other end of the line to ask me to speak up. It is for this reason that I am empathetic to those who are forced to speak up while on the train. For the others who I think are doing it overtly, I’m sure I’ll have another blog entry with their name on it when the time comes.

No, this Cell Phone rule is reserved for a specific annoyance. I’ve come to realize that thanks to all of the ways you can customize your cell phone, it can—much like a pet—take on the characteristics of its owner. I can also appreciate how exciting it can be when you get a new cell phone; how you may want to get to customizing it as soon as possible; and how your commute to, or from work on the train may seem like a good time and place to do it.

But it isn’t…

People use their commuting time for different things, but mostly people are just unwinding before/after work. Some even take the time to catch up on sleep. The last thing they need to hear is a blaring rendition of Beethoven’s 5th or Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov’s The Flight of the Bumblebee played by a bunch of beeps and pops, emitting from your freaking little Nokia 2125i.

On a couple of occasions now, I have had to endure one person or another, paging through each and every one of the 500 ringtones on their new phone in his/her quest to find the one ringtone that was perfect for them, the one that best expressed their individuality. Does anyone else see the irony in this? This form of torture would have been effective back in the days preceding the UN, if only cell phones were available then.

This to me, has the same effect as the sound of someone clipping their nails on the train seemed to have on Go Buddy Rob. Only, unlike GBR, I didn’t yell out, “Please refrain from choosing your ringtones on the train!”.

In hindsight, I wish I had.

The Cell Phone Rule

As a courtesy to your fellow passengers on whatever commuter vehicle you may be travelling. Please refrain from listening to all of the ringtones on your new or old cell phone, or—if you must do this—please use earphones.

During the daily commute, we are all forced to share a confined space and deal with each other’s idiosyncrasies. The least we can do is minimize any unnecessary unpleasantness. So chose your ringtone somewhere else, don’t make me come over there and slap you!

Other Rules:

• The Escalator Rule
• When the Doors Open
• ATMs
• The Cell Phone Rule
• The Door Dodger
• The Human Speed Bump